i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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