kristin has been a bad kristin
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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