So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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