Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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