I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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