He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
