Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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