it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
