i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
