Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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