Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
