dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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