Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Fuck appropriateness.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
