with your own penis?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
