The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize