Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
