hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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