This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
