I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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