Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
