How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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