I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
she was so not down for the gang bang
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
