I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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