I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I won't apologize to a one balled man
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
