You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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