with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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