when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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