she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
