I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
