My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
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my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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