At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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