census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize