my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
