More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
