Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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