the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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