she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
