I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
