I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
