some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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