Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize