There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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