How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
