before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
