im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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