Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
