Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
we're so committed to being not committed
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
why is half of my head shaved?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
