Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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