I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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