Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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