I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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