im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
