im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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