New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
