Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
