Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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