and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
