it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
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Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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